5 Things I Got Wrong About Sportsmanship at Summer Camp

Last year, we faced a big challenge that ended one of our summer camps on a down note. With our summer camps just a month away, I can't wait to share a blog post I wrote after last year's camps that explains what happened and what we learned. After pinpointing the issue, we turned things around, and our camps have ended in exciting and positive note ever since! The lesson we learned might be valuable for you when coaching your team or your kids. Since we want every last one of your 4th-8th graders to join us, we've kept our prices the same as last year. Can't wait to see you there!

During camp, we give stars out to everyone who wins games and also demonstrates good hustle, teamwork, and camaraderie. The top three pitchers who earn the most stars by the end of camp earn a prize.

Our first camp in La Grange went well, with about 35 athletes in attendance. We frequently checked in on who was winning, announcing it to all the players. Our hope was that it would motivate them to put more effort in. It did. Everyone was extremely excited and motivated to get stars, which was great, since competition pushes us to be our best. But… the coaches noticed a problem. The mood was a little negative. It seemed stressed. At the end of the camp most people seemed mad they didn’t win, as opposed to happy they attended a fun camp.

I consulted with my fellow coaches and then talked to my mom, who has been a teacher for 25 years. It turns out that during camp, while spending more than two hours on our "mental game" lessons, we forgot to talk about sportsmanship! In our regular pitching lessons, which we usually teach in very small groups of 2-3, teamwork isn’t much of an issue. We focus more on competition and how to be individually resilient on the mound. So, we had to change things around for our next camp at Trinity.

During that camp we read a list of what it means to be a good sport numerous time, then gave them stars for those who followed it. The mood of our camps drastically improved. Players cheered for each other and most added hustle to their step. Who would have thought? If I teach an athlete something, they will do it! It’s so simple…

Sometimes I forget what young people don’t know (since it was so long ago I don’t remember). Part of being a good coach is to admit my mistakes, then improve for next time, just like we ask players to do. Along those lines, the idea of sportsmanship got me thinking.

Sportsmanship guidelines should be the same for parents and coaches, too.

While I’m not a parent, I think that one of the benefits of having your kids play sports is that you get to re-learn the valuable lessons sports offers. This would help you in your career and parenting, right? We get to build our character just as young players do, that is, if we read this list (that we read to players) and work on it. How can parents and coaches build our own character? I looked up the answers and would like to pass them along to you. These are some ways we can all get better together - players, parents, and coaches.

Being A Good Sport

Player: Being a good sport means your conduct is polite and gracious, and that you avoid being disrespectful to others during game time.

Parent: Being a good parent sport means your conduct is polite and gracious, and that you avoid being disrespectful to other parents or coaches. Things such as gossip, approaching the coach at the wrong time, or talking about subject matter that is not your business would be things to avoid.

Coach/Instructor: Being a good sport as a coach means trying to be as fair as possible, communicating your definition of fair ahead of time (to both players and parents), and demonstrating the character you’d like to see out of others.

Be Supportive

Player: Be supportive. If you’re losing, it’s best not to take your disappointment out on your teammates.

Parent: Bringing after-game snacks, cheering on your own team, and not being critical towards the other team’s parents, coaches, or players. If your daughter is a pitcher you need to catch for her multiple times per week. Try not be overly-supportive by doing too much. For example, carrying her bag or chasing balls for her is her job, not yours. Additionally, encourage your child to approach the coach, instead of you, with things such as playing time. It will help her mature and feel brave.

Coach/Instructor: Genuinely desire the skill and character development of all players. Continuously learn about the game. If players don’t play well or win, analyze the situation instead of getting emotional. We need to communicate to players and parents the truth about where they stand. Tell them exactly how they need to improve. Don’t take player or parent behavior personally. Don’t give up. Control the controllables and let go of the rest.

Have a positive attitude

Player: Having a negative attitude about the game can bring down the whole team, making competition less fun for everyone. Childish or inappropriate behavior can dampen the spirit of the game and make it less fun.

Parent: Some parents are on hyper-alert to the coach treating their kid unfairly. They start their day that way. Instead of pointing out all the mistakes, ask the coach if she needs help hitting fungo at practice. Does she want you to text the other parents about game time changes? Look for ways to make the team better instead of pointing out mistakes and waiting (or trying to force) others to change.

Coaches/Instructor: Go in with the expectation that all players want to be there and want to learn. We have to find out what motivates them. Kids spend the whole day in somewhat stressful situations with schoolwork and managing social situations. They come to softball practice because it’s fun! It’s our job to be in a good mood and ready to have a great practice or lesson.

Be respectful.

Player: Whether you win or lose, it’s essential to show respect to others. Even if you suspect someone of cheating, (which may not necessarily be the case), hurling harsh words at your opponents or teammates can damage your reputation, and the respect others have for you. Whining about calls or arguing with umpires also demonstrates unsportsmanlike conduct.

Parent: Avoid criticizing umpires. This teaches the child to have a victim mentality and reinforces that it’s okay to blame others for her performance. Even if he is a blind terrible umpire, he’s still doing his best. Remind your daughter that both teams had the same ump and like players, some are more skilled and experienced than others. It’s part of playing sports.

Coaches/Instructor: Coaches and instructors can be respectful to parents by taking time to answer questions and concerns. It’s best if we plan the schedule ahead of time and do not change practice times if possible, as everyone’s schedules are packed. If we admits to mistakes and stick to our word about playing time, and team structure, parents and players will respect us.

Practice self-control

Player: Games can get emotional, but players should make a conscious effort to control their emotions and focus on the game. If you lose, don’t pout.

Parents: Avoid coaching from the sidelines. Nothing frustrates a coach more than when a parent yells, “throw a curve” when the play is intended for your child to “pitch a fastball”. Also, if you do “lose it” during a game, come clean with your child after the game. Let her know that you were frustrated/angry with the umpire or other team, etc. – but it is NOT OKAY to demonstrate that frustration/anger with yelling and behaving poorly from the sidelines.

Coach/Instructor: Don’t lose it during a game or lessons. It’s the same idea for parents. We must not forget our team or students follow our example of how to behave. It’s important to defend our team to the umpire if necessary, but losing emotional control is a bad example. If we can’t control ourselves, how are we going to control the athletes?

Teaching sportsmanship alongside pitching skills requires a lot of time and dedication. While I often leave much of this to team coaches due to time constraints, I've found that pitchers who embrace these principles learn faster, enjoy the game more, and carry these valuable lessons with them long after their playing days are over.

Sources:

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-show-good-sportsmanship

https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-be-a-good-sports-parent-4065147