Do You Need A Backup Sport?

Let’s say your daughter decides she wants to be a pitcher. She’s really going to put the work in this time. Unfortunately, she’s pursuing this position later than all of her teammates. In fact, everyone else has been working hard at pitching for 2 or 3 years. She’s quite far behind in all aspects including accuracy and speed. She doesn’t know any movement pitches. 

However, your daughter ends up growing to like it more than you thought she would. She’s doing all the practices, going to every pitching school class, and even getting some innings in her house league. 

In fact, she’s so into this softball thing that she’s going to try out for her high school team. She wants to go all-in on softball and quit her other sport. She’s so excited that by the time she gets to high school her “like” for pitching turns into love. 

You know something she doesn’t, though. When she gets to be a junior or senior, she probably won’t make varsity. It’s simply a fact based on her level of play. You want her to keep her second sport so that by the time she gets to that point, she won’t feel devastated if she doesn’t make the team. After all, if she has a second sport to fall back on it won’t be as upsetting. She needs a back-up plan.

Certainly you’ll come across the concept of having a back-up plan for many areas of your life. This situation is just a metaphor, really. Henry Cavill, (aka Superman) said, “If you have a backup plan, then you’ve already admitted defeat.” He pretty much knows everything so I’ll go with that one.

Do you think Micahel Jordan had a Plan B if basketball didn’t work out? Does Elon Musk have a Plan B if saving the world doesn’t happen? Did Sarah Bakely think, “Eh, if I don’t sell enough Spanx in the first month I’ll go back to my old job.” No, they didn’t!

If you’ve read their biographies, none of these thoughts crossed their minds. Each became successful in spite of obstacles which got in their way. They figured out a way around the hurdle. They didn’t stop and think, “It’s very unlikely I’ll be able to create and privately fund a rocket ship that can come back to Earth and land upright on a 280-foot landing pad. So I will just get a job at NASA instead.”  No, they figured out a way to surmount them. They kept trying until. They feel they had to accomplish their goals or else women everywhere would be uncomfortable in regular pantyhose forever.

I don’t have kids, but I’m pretty sure based on my memories of my parents’ discomfort with all of the times I was devastated, they really wanted to avoid it at all costs. A devastated teenager can easily spread their wreckage to the entire household. I joke, I joke.

But this disappointment is exactly what she needs to grow as a person. 

Firstly, girls need to understand that we believe in them, perhaps even more than they believe in themselves. 

Secondly, young athletes need to experience stress before they become adults. They need to think their life is over at least once. They need to experience all of the negatives life brings. Then, we all get to coach them through it. Sports is the perfect arena for learning to overcome huge setbacks. 

Youth sports don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. When young people grow into adults and find themselves seriously difficult situations they will know what to do as a result of this learning process.

The lofty goal of playing on Varsity is a great opportunity to learn how to work hard for something and not give up.  It’s a great opportunity to instill in your daughter the concept that a goal is a compass for living her daily life. “Sarah, if your goal is to make varsity, you will have to pitch 5 days per week, get lessons, and lift weights 3 days per week. Are you willing to commit to doing those things? If so, I will help you get those things done every day.”

By the time it comes to tryouts, she will have felt good that she tried her best, which you will have helped her understand. If she has not done the work required to make varsity, it’s great for you and coaches to have clear evidence of the reasoning, and ways she can try next year, if she so chooses.

Basically, the way to get young people to never feel devastation is....never let them play sports, never challenge them, never push them past their comfort zone in order to reach their potential, and always have a back-up plan.