A Real-Life Lesson About Training: My Story

Somehow, through magic, I was able to improve my skills enough to help my team win an NCAA DIII National Championship at Ithaca College in 2002 as a pitcher.  

Actually, to be honest it wasn’t magic. After twelve long years of playing softball, I was finally able to make the link between hard work and success.

As a pitching instructor I see the imparting of this idea as a constant struggle. Parents want to know how to encourage their daughters to practice on their own without having to nag or supervise.  As a player I didn’t learn to self-initiate until college.  There I learned that practice isn’t an option, nor is it merely a good suggestion.  ‘Practice’ is a necessity if you want your players to be successful.  

As a young athlete, I had an average work ethic. I went along with what my coaches said to do.  Although my parents took me to lessons with my uncle who was a pitching coach once per week, I only practiced maybe once per week, if at all, in an unfocused and purposeless way.  I felt bad for my catcher. Wasn’t I “putting her out” by asking her to catch for me?  Sometimes I felt sorry for myself because I had to throw to a wall and bend down to field it.  My dad was supportive but not pushy.  If I asked him to catch me, I’m sure he would have; but I never felt like practicing so I didn’t ask. Mom and Dad came to my games and were proud of my “efforts,” like most other parents.

My experience was different than most other successful college players who were elite athletes of the body and mind. That was not my story.  I can relate to the majority of pre-teens and teenagers, drudging along, having a little fun playing a sport but not being driven or seeing sustained success. I was different from Cat Osterman or Jennie Finch who were the pitchers that worked the hardest and played on the best teams with great coaches growing up.  My friend and Boston College grad threw 70mph and begged her dad to go play catch with her as a teenager.  Keilani Ricketts’ (NCAA DI National Champ) parents pushed her to play and practice often, usually against her will.  Jennie Finch’s dad caught for her almost every day. Whether or not these pitchers felt like practicing or playing, they never relented on the practice – the continual, often, and purposeful practice.  They, and their parents, had above average work ethic. Their parents required the girls to work hard by doing, not by telling. Kids learn by imitation.

My Uncle John gave me a taste of what a pitcher’s work ethic should feel like when I was in high school. He came to my house at 5 a.m. to catch for me before school.  It seemed crazy at the time, but when I got to college I realized that he was not the only “crazy” person in existence. We had 5 a.m. practices in college!  

After a few weeks of his above average effort, Uncle John had trouble keeping up his intensity to my delight.  Instead of arriving at 5 a.m., he changed it to 5:15, then 5:20.  Eventually, when he got to the house, he would sit down on the recliner “just for a minute.” His eyes would slowly close, and I would quietly creep away from the chair, and he’d fall asleep. I would never wake him up. I got an extra hour and a half of sleep, unknowingly to my own detriment.

I remember how I felt on the mound during my high school games.  Although I threw above 50 mph I had no command over any of my pitches. I would stare at the catcher, she would call a sign, and I would get nervous and shaky because I had no idea where the ball would end up, “Please don’t walk this girl too.”   If I was fortunate.I threw it softly around the area of the glove.  I didn’t care that much if we won or lost. I was mainly concerned about my teammates not getting mad at me for too poor of a performance.  My mindset was so backwards. One time after I warmed up to start for an important conference game, my coach came up to me and said, “Abby, how are you feeling today?  Do you think you “have it?” I never once in my life really thought I “had it”, so I said, “No, I’m not feeling it today.” My coach said “Thanks for letting me know,” and I sat down on the bench and the freshman pitched. Instead of being disappointed or embarrassed, I was relieved. I didn’t even know how to be a competitor. Adversity meant being uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to be uncomfortable.  

Unfortunately, I know this is how many athletes who are under performing look at the game.  It’s the average player’s and coach’s mindset. My coaches were not sure of themselves on who to pitch, so they asked me, a 15 year old,  if I should pitch.  They didn”t understand how much pitchers needed to practice to be effective.  I didn’t understand how great I would feel if I put the work in.  In fact, I’m surprised and extremely grateful that I had another opportunity to retrain my brain, my body, and ultimately, my future.

Somehow I managed to walk onto my college team without being recruited.  I showed up in Coach Deb’s office on move-in day and said “Hi! I’m here! See you at tryouts!”

College blew my mind.  Coach Deb and Coach Robin taught me that hard work directly related to success by “making” me pitch 5-6 days a week, train my body through weight lifting, practice the mental game, and struggle. There was no arguing, no complaining, and it was unacceptable to let my team down. I committed to showing up each day and following directions, mostly out of fear for at least the first year.

Then it happened.  I started a game sophomore year and I threw the ball to the location I intended to.  I threw a changeup and it went slow. The batter swung and missed.  “Oh my goodness,” I thought. “My practice actually worked!” I cannot believe that it took me so long to figure this out.

In college I learned that “The fifty pitches I am throwing today will lead to the tournament championship in four years from now.”  Personally, I don’t blame myself too much for not grasping this concept in high school.  It seems illogical to associate short term with the long term.  But that’s exactly what players are supposed to understand – discomfort now for success later. Here is the meat of how to get players to “want it,” and to make the association between two seeming opposites.

Coaches and parents: players want to be like you. Do the work together.  Don’t tell her what to do. Run with her, catch for her, do the push-ups side by side.  You need to do what it takes to get instill the concept of delayed gratification.  Your daughter might realize the link between hard work and success in a single moment like I did, or she might have to learn and relearn it over the years.  Showing her the tangible results of a hard-working mindset is the best gift you can give her; it carries with her throughout all of life’s adversities and opportunities. My guess is that it will be really fun for you, too.